Emotions

Before I release the best Mariah Carey remix ever made...

I'd like to say that there is no such remix and my topic is instead one of death and taxes.

Fooled you.

Start off with this song before I get too deep.

Nightdrive With You (sayCet Remix) - Anoraak (Get the Radiohead mix too[marc you'll like it alot i think])

So I've been trying over my post-pubescent years to figure out why I get this gut-wrenching feeling of disappointment after a good trip. Maybe it's a natural balance of a week-long high and a bottom out after that, but I feel like there's more to it than that. What leads me to that conclusion is the fact that I get this after different stuff than just trips and I don't get it sometimes that would be classified as a big high. Like sometimes when I go out to a club and hear some great music I like and have a blast, I don't get bummed out or nostalgic-feeling the next day. It just seems like there's always something missing after a great time. Like I've had the greatest time I could have had in a given situation (or at least close to it) and I still am missing something. I know I'm not the only person who gets this, but it's crushing when it comes around every once in a while. If you know about that holla.

It has a really similar feel to guilt, but I don't think there'd be any reason for me to feel guilty about anything that went down on the ski trip. I got drunk but I always remain conscious enough to know what I want or what I don't want rather.

Speaking of which, I had a close encounter with the second kind over the week. Sike. But I did learn that I don't like alcohol that much. It really is only good for relaxing and enjoying with a meal in small doses. When people (girls named Diane) get drunk they stay stuff like they want to bed with you... which is true subconsciously, but they'd never do it when they're completely level-headed... you get frustrated. Therefore, it's a cheat. Sobriety is the best way to carry on relationships of any kind, and I'm going to stick with that statement until I see a plethora of examples telling me otherwise (which i won't).

I don't know though, this day has been kinda refreshing. I've felt something without forcing myself for once in a while. So assuming that tomorrow I'll go back to Robot Ted tomorrow like normal, I'll just soak it in and try and convince myself that I can love something like snowboarding and miss the fact that I'm not loving someone like this girl Celia I met on the trip (who I would still like to have coffee with[unfortuntely, I can't speak the french I'd need to do that]).
"Just to show how fucked up the game can get..." I felt nothing when I saw this dead person laying out on the side of the road on the drive back. Huge ass wreck and at least one person who was just straight-up dead, bleeding on the highway. Nothing. I really tried to feel sad or nervous or worried like everyone else on the bus but zero. Get me some oil, my knee is rusting...

I would like to say that it's strange how a phone call can change your day...take you away (RJD2). Thanks to phillip for returning me to more normal characteristics. Always good to hear from your friends; good news, bad news, doesn't matter.

I wish I could find my humanity again and believe in the fire that people see in others. If you're out there, someone, set me on fire. (Ladyhawke Ddpesh remix) <--♥



PS. Bonus track is the new Cunninlynguists joint entitled Never Come Down (The Brownie Song). If you can make it through the last minute of the song without grooving to that sample, you lose at life. Cause this shit here!